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Blossoming breasts, bras and denial
I was ten years old. My breasts had bloomed a wee bit earlier than most girls my age, but I tried to ignore them, perhaps foolishly hoping they would JUST GO AWAY. Then one day, my mother came home bearing gifts, strange new contraptions they were: training bras.
I recoiled at seeing them. In my eyes, they were something for grown-ups, or teenagers even, like my sister who seemed to take joy in putting them on and taking them off and has particular pride in her breasts. I was only ten years old, for heaven's sake.
And if that wasn't bad enough, my fourth grade teacher took me aside one day and started talking about which brands of bras are great for someone like me who was 'blossoming into womanhood'.
From then on, I went into denial. I kept telling myself I wasn't getting breasts and that they're not that noticeable anyway. I ignored the training bras until I reached high school. That's the first time I started wearing them consistently. Besides, I wasn't the only one who was wearing a bra. That was a pretty comforting thought.
During freshman year in PE, my friend came up to me and said outright, "Your nipples are showing through your shirt. Why don't you wear a bra?"
"I am wearing one," I told her, feeling my face redden at the thought that my nipples were quite noticeable.
"You should wear a different one then."
From then on, I started wearing real bras. In retrospect, I think it was about time I did. The embarrassment of having noticeable nipples was enough to make me give in.
Now that I'm 19, I'm happy to say that I've grown to love my breasts, pretty as they are, and bras, too. As a matter of fact, I now enjoy shopping for bras, picking out pretty colours and designs, whereas before, it would embarrass me to go bra-shopping with my mother because she would pick one out and yell out for all to hear, “Hey Lynn. Do you wear a 32 or a 34? What cup size are you anyway?”
I just wonder why I was so embarrassed about my breasts before. Maybe I thought I was too young to have them. Maybe I felt like a freak having these things bulge out from me.
But I suppose it doesn't matter now. I've got them and I'm happy I do (unlike some people who don't have them at all and pretend they do, but that's another story).
by Lynn Lopez