The Breast Chronicles

The Breast Chronicles

Reshaping breasts on the net.
 
Girls who like to participate in extreme sports such as skydiving will be pleased to hear about the new G-force resistant bra. For the well-endowed who don't want to miss out this bra will come as welcome news with "shock-absorbing springs and hydraulics in its high-tech cups to prevent bounce". "It will leave breasts the pairfect shape at any angle - even upside down," says the bra's inventor, designer Louise Cain.

 
Whoever came up with these estimates needs their eyes seeing to. Why is it such a common misconception that the bigger the boobs, the bigger the band size? Sure, it works the other way round, but just because a pair of tits is big doesn't mean the woman is fat! Honestly. I'm referring specifically to the larger cup sizes than the first few images, which seem a bit more accurate.

 
This bra really needs no words of introduction - just that it's awesome!


 
For the cleavage-ly challenged, a well-known method of visual enhancement is to use blusher in your cleavage to create the illusion of bigger breasts. Marie Claire's resident beauty expert has this to say on the matter: "Don't powder your chest as so many girls do, as this won't make your embonpoint look any bigger. This is because the matt powder absorbs light, which is not what you want. Shine and reflection are what you need, as these create optical illusions, making things look all ripe and juicy." She recommends using Anna Sui eye gloss or vaseline. "If you're sporting a balcony-type cleavage, apply a smidgento the upper and middle of each breast. If you've got more of a plunge neckline, apply it to the inner part of each breast."