The Breast Chronicles

The Breast Chronicles

Reshaping breasts on the net.
Ah, America. A nation so fascinated yet frightened by breasts that it's just spent eight grand on curtains because the attorney general was embarrassed about being photographed in front of a semi-clad Art Deco statue of the Spirit of Justice. I mean honestly - could he not think of any better way of spending $8,000? Say charity for example or, in keeping with his profession, catching and convicting criminals?! But no, it had to be spent on preserving the modesty of an aluminium statue. Of course. You lot are simply daft about boobs, you really are.

Legend has it that the traditional, shallow "champagne glass" was modeled on the diminutive boobs of Marie Antoinette. Now, more than 200 years later, Bravissimo has commissioned a champagne glass modelled on big boobs! The new champagne coupes weigh in at 550 ml -- or a D cup. Traditional champagne glasses hold only 200ml -- an A or B cup. Scots comedienne Ronni Ancona, known for her impressive 30F chest, unveiled the new glass at the Ritz Hotel in London. Unfortunately the champagne glasses are prototypes. There are no plans to sell them.

You know, I have said time and again that smaller breasts don't equal bad breasts. I am not a size queen in that respect. Of course Gwyneth Paltrow was able to pass as a man in "Shakespeare in Love" partly because of her own plank-like physique. But it's best that your breasts don't look like two little pancakes on a platter (unless of course it's Shrove Tuesday). There's nothing wrong with a little push up for shape -- Whoopi Goldberg joked that Paltrow was the first woman ever in movie history "who had her breasts reduced to get a part." Now Paltrow's show of cleavage has sparked rumours that she resorted to using false breasts to promote her new movie "Shallow Hall" which hits cinemas on Friday. So how much does body shape influence the average manís idea of beauty?

Britney Spears admitted wearing false boobs in the video for 'Oops I Did It Again'. She said the prosthetics were necessary because the PVC cat suit she wore made her chest look flat. Now Spears is claiming the sudden increase in her bra size is simply normal biological growth. Take a gander at the evidence here and decide for yourself: The Mystery of Britney Spears Breasts!

Debenhams techies hit on jugs? It seems that a search for 'jugs' on the Debenham's website might bring up more than the unsuspecting shopper bargained for!

Good news for the lesser-endowed - the "Brava" breast enlargement system has been clinically approved, becoming the first non-surgical breast enhancement treatment to gain FDA approval. It's expensive, but still only half the price of augmentation surgery, and bestows an average tissue increase of 1 cup size.

Happy New Year to everyone! You may have noticed an absence of entries over the Christmas period: this is mainly because I had very little access to the internet, but also because I was filling my life with other things, such as opening presents ;-)