The Breast Chronicles

The Breast Chronicles

Reshaping breasts on the net.
 
I need a summer bra. Something light and well-ventilated, with slim straps. It's not good wearing these big boulder-holders in this hot weather. I'm just wandering round in a bikini top at the moment.


 
Argh, my pectorial muscles are still aching from my session at the gym two days ago! I'm basically working on my chest muscles like a body builder - using the highest weights I can, with a low number of reps. This tears the muscles and forces them to rebuild themselves (thus growing bigger) - with the aim, in my case, of lifting my bosom. But I think I may have pummelled them a bit too hard!

 
This lady so disliked her DD breasts that two years ago she had them downsized to a B. She kept a diary of her experiences leading up to and through breast reduction surgery, including photographs and an overview of the procedure. She's delighted with the result because she looks 'proportionate' (there's that phrase again!) and can wear camisoles.

 
I love Maple Drive - it makes me feel good because it carries a really good selection of styles that are available in my size :-) Plus, there's a search by size function, which means that I don't have to browse through all the thousands of beautiful bras which I wouldn't fit into.


 
Gosh, I've had a reply from Figleaves already: "I am sorry that you have been displeased with using our website... I have forwarded on your comments to those concerned in making any future changes in our current system and any necessary changes will be made."

 
I just wrote figleaves some feedback complaining about their product viewing system. Specifically, that users have to click through several pages just to find out if a bra is available in their size (which in my case of course, it usually isn't, making it even more annoying to have had to go through it) - there is no sizing information on the product page or the brand pages. It's really irritating - except, of course, if you're a 34C, because the 'selected size' is always that. I think the system is extremely user-unfriendly, and they ought to consider revising it. I wonder if they'll take any notice.


 
Wow, how cool would you look down at the local disco in your very own Cyber Bra?!

 
Ooh, another article! This one's by Lorna Morgan of www.lorna-morgan.com, and is about her experiences as a naturally 'blessed' (very blessed: 32G!) woman.

 
Virus Warning! Normally I wouldn't post such a thing here, but I'm getting several e-mails per day because of it - I've already had well over 50 copies!. This worm is actually now the most common virus on the internet, and like many others before it, propogates itself through seemingly innocuous e-mails. The e-mail message text is always the same: "hi how are you, I send you this file in order to have your advice. See you soon" (sometimes it's written in Spanish), and attached is a file with two file extensions. Please do not open the attachment, as it starts the virus program running. It goes through all your windows address book and your temporary internet files looking for e-mail addresses, so if you've been viewing my website recently it sends itself to me! More info here.

 
The trials of the busty are well-known - and most (non-implanted) larger ladies have at some time or other longed for smaller breasts. Breast reduction surgery has always gone hand-in-hand with disfiguring scars on the breasts, but there are now new techniques which can be applied, including liposuction and laser surgery, making the operation considerably less risky, less time-consuming, and less disfiguring.


   
Win a Shock Absorber T-shirt. The Kournikova-endorsed Berlei Shock Absorber has a new advertising campaign based on the slogan "Brings everything to a standstill".


 
Nice melons - oh, but he was talking about the fruit... Would you believe him?

 
How big do women want their implants? See here.

 
Right, having got the moderators sorted out, I would like to extend an invitation to all visitors to join our discussion forums. This is on a trial basis to start with, and there are a few rules (i.e. no inappropriate matter - the forum moderators and I decide what's inappropriate). I've also taken various precautions against misuse: Registration is compulsory to be able to post (though anyone can view the forums); the registration process includes e-mail address verification; you have to register with a unique e-mail address. Anyway, have fun! I think it will be interesting - finally some real interactivity on the Breast Chronicles! See you there.


   
I've decided to add a set of discussion forums to the Breast Chronicles, but before the official launch, would anyone like to apply for moderator status? E-mail me, or post in the guestbook.

 
I just added another two of my own articles to the webzine: Best Dressed Breasts, containing fashion advice for the well-endowed (it's so annoying that most styles are designed for chest maximisation on the small-breasted); and The Importance of the Right Bra, which is pretty self-explanatory. Both articles were ones which I wrote ages ago and then forgot about. I've also updated the Lingerie Online article.


 
In Bra Review Colleen laments, as I so often do, the lack of availability of larger bras and the trend for the undergarment fashion industry to cater only to those who wear bras only as decorative items: "One's need for support means, by definition, that none can be found. It used to be that Jane Russell was required to prove the efficacy of a good bra. Now the Victoria's Secret models have to have contours painted onto their photographs to make up for the missing flesh."

 
I certainly support Topfreedom. I agree that women of all shapes and sizes should be able to shed their clothes if they so wish. I mean, horribly ugly men with enormous, hairy beer bellies are allowed to display their torsos to the world. I think encouraging the rights of topfreedom would help show men that all women have breasts - not just those who get them out in the pages of Playboy - and that all breasts are normal and beautiful for what they are. I think that the culture of naked breasts being acceptable only if they are a beautiful, perky C-cup is ridiculous.

 
I've read that vitamin A can help reduce stretch marks, as it stimulates the renewal process of epidermal cells which result in a thickening of the epidermis, and improves skin elasticity. The skin on the breasts is very delicate, and the weight of the breasts themselves are constantly stretching it - so it's possible that vitamin A treatment will improve - or at least maintain - perkiness. Anyway, I'm off out to get me some! Perhaps this could be the beginning of another breast experiment?

 
 
And now, a few more words about breasts... One of the prime reasons given for getting breast implants is a desire to look "normal". But what is "normal"? As average size is defined upwards, in part by more implants, the number of women who need them to meet the new standards for "normal" also rises, and so the circle goes."Whatever your beauty ideal, it is going to be something that only a small number of women can achieve," said Valerie Steele, curator of the museum at the Fashion Institute of Technology. "Once the technology makes it possible to get closer to that ideal, standards are raised. We will up the ante. It won't be just size, it will be perkiness or the perfect nipple."

   
You know, what was with that whole bra-burning thing in the seventies? I mean, as far as I can see, men must have thought it was their birthdays, all these women running around with their breasts bobbing freely beneath their clothing... Weird, I say.

 
While he was planning his film "The Outlaw", Howard Hughes knew exactly where the film's appeal lay - below Jane Russell's chin and above her waist - "There are two good reasons why men will go to see her," he said. Russell's breasts were to be the focus of the movie. He devoted take after take to shots of the starlet leaning over the wounded Kid's bed, fussing and fretting, re-shooting, realigning the camera until he got just the right effect. It evidently worked. At the première, as Russell leaned forward, a member of the audience hollered 'Bombs away.'

Hughes himself was fairly breast-obsessed, to the point of circulating a memo describing in great detail how miss Russell's chest was to be clothed. He decided that, magnificent though her assets were, her chest needed a little more help to produce just the right result. The designer in him came to the fore and, muttering "This is really just a very simple engineering problem," he retired to the drawing board.

Hollywood, too, had by this time become very breast-fixated and the censor had found it prudent to institute an exact – to the inch – ruling as to how low a dress could be cut so that the amount of cleavage on show was not deemed too 'obscene'.
A Pictorial History of Sex in the Movies. London, Hamlyn, 1975. pp.92-95 Credit: Glen Ralph.


 
So, you think you know bras? Test your knowledge with this Bra Trivia Quiz. Although actually, they got one of the answers wrong. The push-up bra was not introduced in the 1990s as they suggest, but several decades previously. The 3-piece, padded 'Wonderbra' construction was invented by Gossard in the 1950s.

 
Interesting boob facts:
- In the 16th and 17th Centuries, upper class Frenchwomen tried to maintain small, solid breasts with potions ranging from crushed pearls, lard, pigeon droppings and toads eyes being rubbed into the breasts.
- Jayne Mansfield was reported to have insured her DD bosom for $1 million.
- A Gossard Ultrabra is made up of 45 components
- During the renaissance, one supposed sign of being a witch was the existence of a third nipple, which an appointed man would be asked to search for. (someone had a fun job!)


 
To celebrate the new domain-status of the Breast Chronicles, I'm thinking about the possibility of introducing a bulletin board system where visitors can chat about breast-related topics. This is by no means a definite plan as yet, but if anyone has any thoughts, would like to apply for moderator status, or wants to suggest a discussion category, .

 
I've drafted a letter to various bra manufacturers, enquiring into the general deficiency in D+ cup sizes. Most of the more designer brands (such as Barbara of Paris, Aubade, Simone Perele, La Perla, Janet Reger, Lepel, Lise Charmel, and so on), which produce beautiful lingerie, don't go beyond a C-cup (or occasionally a D-cup at a push), which I think is a huge shame.

 
Otto Titzling did not, I repeat did not invent the bra. However, it's astonishing how many 'official' sites - including none other than Gossard.com - present this fantasy as fact.

 
There are two new articles in the webzine: A scientific paper on measuring how much bras minimise bounce contributed by Jeffrey Winkler, and advice for men in What every man should do from Ramón.


   
Hurrah, I've got www.breastchronicles.net up and running! Welcome to the Breast Chronicles at its new location. As of today the site at rubberducky.nu/girl/breasts/ will no longer be updated. Oh, and there's a brand new favourites icon.


 
When it comes to breasts, what does 'in proportion' mean? So often, in size-related discussion, men (who obviously don't know what they're talking about) bang on about how big or small doesn't matter, so long as a lady's breasts are 'in proportion' with her body. What is the proportion they're talking about? Am I unattractive because I have a slender body with large breasts? Would I be more attractive if I had B-cup breasts? Should big boobs be seen only on fat women? Or on tall women? Should all women have cosmetic surgery to ensure that they are 'in proportion'? Are the high-earning strippers who have paid for breast enlargements 'in proportion'? What are these people going on about? Of course, the fact of the matter is that size doesn't matter, and neither does being 'in proportion': a man is just as happy to see a pair of B-cups as a pair of E-cups in his lad/sex mag, as long as they're perky.


 
Oriental women are traditionally considered to be small breasted. But that doesn't stop bustiness being a minor obsession in Japan.


 
one word: ouch.

 
Well having had such limited success in Glasgow, I turned to the tiny lingerie store on the Isle of Bute, where I'm currently staying with my father. And I got a black & gold Fantasie bra in a 32E with matching knickers - in the sale! I'd recommend the service by the way - it's run by a really sweet lady who will help check the fit of a garment.


 
I had a somewhat depressing shopping trip today. The cute summer tops I tried on were designed for bust maximisation (intended to be worn on a B-cup chest), and so just looked bad on me. The swimwear I tried mostly didn't fit, apart from one pretty funky tankini. They didn't seem to have much in the way of bras in my size (nothing at all on the sale racks in my size - if it's so damn unusual why does it always sell out?!). Anyway, I've decided to pen a letter to some of the trendier bra companies demanding to know why they don't bother catering for the 40% or so of women who are larger than a C-cup.


 
Shauny: "I found myself unable to resist peeking at other chicks' boobs from the safety of fake plastic ferns in that critical, comparitive, scientific kind of way." The variety in breast-age is astonishing if you actually get the opportunity to find out, but heterosexual women like us really don't tend to see many naked breasts besides our own, other than the pumped-up silicone variety displayed in the media.

 
Cinema loves breasts. Fashion and fads have dictated the shape and size of the most desirable breasts practically since the beginning of time, but it's the last century that has seen the most rapid changes. "The flappers of the 1920s were followed 40 years later by the likes of Twiggy. According to historical patterns, we should be in the middle of another era of flat-chested androgyny. But you wouldn't know it from Lara Croft." It's a very interesting article.


 
It has often been enquired of me which celebrity breasts I admire most. So I'm in the process of compiling a list! Watch this space...

 
Angelina Jolie was an interesting choice for the role of Lara Croft in the Tomb Raider movie - not least because of her distinctly less-exaggerated curves. "I am a 36C, in the movie I am 36D," says Jolie. Lara in the games is supposedly a double-D, but I'd put her closer to an F (she looks bigger than me, and I'm an E).

 
1976: A Member of Parliament claimed that curvy women could end up being "hanged" by their seat belt in an accident. Walter Clegg, an MP in England, is fighting to get well-endowed ladies reprieved from having to wear the belts. Mr. Clegg says he has statistics to prove that big-boobed women are threatened by seat belts. "I firmly believe that large ladies should be exempt from the law," he said. "The problem affects women with certain configurations. In the event of a sudden stop their generous curves force the belt to slip up around their neck. In other cases, their boobs could be badly mangled. One woman showed me her breast and it had an awful wound caused by the tightening of a seat belt in a prang." Legislation to make seat belts compulsory is still going through the House of Commons in England. Sunday Observer (Melbourne) 7 Mar 1976 [Wilmar Library ref. 4/53] Credit: Glen Ralph.