The Breast Chronicles

The Breast Chronicles

Reshaping breasts on the net.
After road testing a bevy of Strapless Bras (i.e. bouncing, dancing, sweating), here's the author's picks: "they’re comfortable, supportive and don’t slip down like a prom dress at midnight." But the breasts and I like the strapless bras from Berlei.

The Best-Bra Guide is an article that makes several important points: get a professional fitting (most women, as they grow, move up a band size, when in fact they should move up a cup size); how to determine the band and cup size; how to put a bra on properly (bend over and allow your breasts to fall naturally into the cups); how to get a little help in the cup size department (try liquid-filled instead of padded bras); and the author's best bra choices.

Big-breasted and small-breasted women envy one another's endowments, and each group finds it hard to sympathize with the other's point of view. The bigs don't see why the smalls would want to trade up from their chic, manageable, fashion-friendly size, and the smalls think that moaning bigs are simply being disingenuous; we're expected to be silent and grateful for our much-desired cleavage. The breasts and I aren't saying that a woman's level of sexual appeal is defined solely by her decolletage, but having cleavage does make a woman feel desirable. (And flashing cleavage has been known to stir something in members of the opposite sex as well.) And while there has been much fanfare over breast enhancement, breast reductions and the issue of implants (silicone vs. soy, health vs. vanity, and how important is it that they don't look real?), size really has little to do with it. Presentation is everything. The components are covered in these three articles: confidence -- because it's OK to "wiggle your assets", since flirting is good for you; the ultimate bra; and a provocative dress that flaunts your best features. So don't waste some of the best years of your life worrying about what other people think of you. With this new knowledge, you may be able, for the first rime, to flirt with men and enjoy it and to feel free enough to act as mild or wild as you want.

You know, sometimes I look at my breasts in the mirror and I think "hey, they're not that big!" and sometimes I think "bloody hell, they really are big!" The way I see them really does vary. It often depends on what clothes I'm wearing, too - vest tops often make them look huge...

Battle of the bra barons is an article about the cat fight brewing over whether Michelle Mone is the mother of the latest cleavage creator, the Ultimo Bra; which got lots of attention earlier this year, when Julia Roberts (34B) wore it in the flick Erin Brockovich. After all, without the gel-filled bra, Julia's lips have more cleavage than her chest, but with it, she has mega-cleavage.

In this article, Like a rhinestone beach babe, the author says, "This summer's poolside look takes hours - nay, days - to achieve. Blame it on Elizabeth Hurley, the woman never seen in public without full make-up, two fingers of cleavage, three-inch heels and a boa constrictor." But the breasts and I usually just buy triangle-bikinis from high-street stores and spill out of them!

Having been in Canada for a week now, I have to say that Britain is certainly way bustier than North America! There really is no comparison - the girls over here are so much more flat-chested, generally. I still feel certain that the 'average' cup size in Britain is a B only because people buy the wrong size (I'm sure most women, as they grow, move from buying a 34B to a 36B, thinking that's their size, when in fact they should be wearing a 34C - it's amazing how many people actually think a 36B is the same as a 34C).

Click here for smaller tits. A South African hospital has launched an online auction for a breast reduction. The Reduction Mammoplasty sell-off is to be accompanied by a giant billboard advert in Johannesburg, which will repeat the word "Tits" in letters of decreasing size.

Here's some articles about the big name manufacturers and their fight to control the marketplace: Bra Wars; Bras Are Big Business; and Britain No Match For America. While the Bra Wars might not be fun for these manufacturers, for women with small or sagging boobs, all these push-alike options are simply uplifting.

Expect some updates and expansion of the Breasts and Sex article in the not-too-distant future - I've received so many tips and comments that deserve to be included! Thanks to those of you who contributed. In the meantime, here's some more advice for men. The breasts and I think that men find not just arousal, but comfort and relief from anxiety in the breast -- from fondling the breast, the warmth of the breast, resting their head on the breast, and suckling the breast. Men even fantasize about 'intermammary intercourse'. It can be very difficult for the small-breasted to perform, but for the big-breasted and their partners it's highly enjoyable, since it's so much easier and more comfortable to hold the breasts together (scroll down).

When it comes to advertising, the breasts and I aren't sure which is more offensive: the camera-caressed sight of a beautiful woman or the notion that women are automatically offended by it. Besides, we're unconvinced that it is entirely in women's interests to ban cleavage from the airwaves. Under the pressure of the p.c. police, the jiggle in beer ads has gone away -- and what do we have to show for it? Mustached dorks and croaking frogs. It's enough to make us nostalgic for a little t&a.

Thanks to those you who e-mailed this link. Janet's Double D Ambrosia Cups This is a recipe to mold pudding in a bra ("any size is good, but bigger is better if you are hungry"). Enjoy!

Want to make a lasting impression with breasts? All you need is two people who are on "good" terms with each other and 'The BodyBitz Sculpture Kit'. For the big-breasted, order the Breast Kit (large) for AUS$ 330.00, and for the small-breasted, order the Breast Kit (small) for AUS$ 260.00. That's a AUS$ 70.00 premium for big breasts! But think about the how much fun they'll have during the clean-up. After all, when you take a shower with a guy, it's a proven Boob Fact that by the time you get out, your tits will be sparkling clean!

Female members of the Canadian armed forces say no to the proposed combat bra.

The breasts are turning a lovely shade of golden brown, thanks to this lovely Canadian sun!

Cleavage war rages on is an article which reviews the various push-up bras which hike 'em up, bust 'em out, and mush 'em together and promise small-breasted women something they never had, cleavage: Ultimo -- the gel-filled Ultimate Bra (cleavage plus comfort); Lily of France X-bra (adjust to stun); The Natural -- the new miracle liquid bra (cleavage plus one full cup size); Nothing but Curves (natural cleavage without pads or gimmicks); The Miracle Click Bra (adjusts to three levels of cleavage); The H20 water bra (water makes everything grow!); and The Wonderbra (maximum lift and volume). The author concludes, "What do women want? Why, cleavage, of course." That's because for women, feelings about cleavage represent feelings about sexual power. 'Good girls' aren't supposed to use it. But, I know what to do with my breasts, my sexual power. I am having a very good time with my cleavage. The breasts and I are comfortable. We see all this -- cleavage, breasts, sexuality -- as a great gift(s).

It seems that bras today are for getting your breasts off your chest and into your coworkers' short attention spans. Boobs are in: big, bouncing, fleshy, squished-together breasts. They're everywhere you look -- spilling out of evening gowns on TV celebrities; pushed in your face in advertisements. Disembodied mammary glands rule our popular culture. Cleavage is the hottest fashion accessory. Not everyone has 'touch-me-now' cleavage, but padded push-up bras can still do wonders. They're instant cleavage for the small-breasted. (Why did you think the Miracle Bra was an immediate success?) They hold up the ideal, making breasts look like they're sitting on a platter. Serve 'em up!

There's something about advertising and breasts. At least that's what the author contends in Victoria, revealed. Victoria's Secret "is selling bazooms. And we’re being invited, ever so tastefully, to leer." Think about it. Breasts are everywhere. Selling everything from cars and exercise equipment to beer and breath mints. Jutting out at us from the TV screen, bouncing and jiggling their way into the wallet of the consumer. In the past, Pepsi relied on celebrities, animals, techno jokes, and little boys gawking past Cindy Crawford's cleavage, past her mole-based emoting, to stare at the new can. There's a reason they call it the boob tube, you know. In fact, the breasts and I are surprised that a cleavage-shot hasn't been used to sell Cap'n Crunch, but the century is still young.

In this article, Just smile and show a little cleavage, the author says, "I believe if you've got it, flaunt it. Women who are confident with their sexuality and know how to use it in social situations are in control." Cleavage is a way of showing sex appeal, but the breasts and think it's hard to find big-breasted women who are comfortable 'flaunting' cleavage. There is so much pressure not to ... women are taught that if they DO 'flaunt it' they will be perceived as politically incorrect, so as a result, they stand with their arms crossed in front of them and wear sweatshirts to hide their baggage. But I've learned to love my two "friends" who've grown with me, all the way to DD. Today, the breasts and I are basking in our femininity. We are having fun. Showing them off makes me feel curvy, flirty, voluptuous, gutsy and confident, and it's my self-confidence that gives me a swagger that says "You wish you looked this good."

Title 9 Sports has bras for DD cups including 'The Bounceless Bra" - for D, DD, and E-cups only.

Sadly, sports bras have never worked for me. Generally designed for the pert and perky, they look great, but offer little to the ample and bodacious. The breasts and I want underwires, thick weight-bearing straps and heavy-duty, nothing's-gonna-move-in-here material -- all of which sounds about as attractive as an orthopedic shoe. Is it too much to ask for a sports bra that lives up to its name, yet looks vaguely appealing and feels somewhat comfortable?

The breasts and I think women with big breasts aren't taken seriously when engaging in athletics. It seems unfair that genetic fate can result in a woman avoiding sports. But think about it, how many big-breasted professional athletes can you name? Olympic champions? Dedicated runners? The problem, clearly, is the bounce factor. It seems breasts are objects of admiration only when at rest, tucked serenely into a bikini top. But set those babies in motion on a female jogger, and watch the IQ points plummet. The women lose credibility, and the men become gaping idiots. What's this about anyway?

Finding the Right Sports Bra is a five part series which gives more advice on buying sports bras including a tips and reviews for medium-larger breasted women.

Keeping Her Shape Weighs On Jennifer Lopez. She knows that breasts and fat work as a team; buy one, you get the other free. But Lopez says the trick of keeping guys interested all boils down to sex appeal, no matter what shape you're in. She says, "Being sexy comes from being confident. People who are OK with themselves are the sexiest." The breasts and I couldn't agree more; confidence is sexy; And that's what its all about.

Did you know that Victoria's Secret is owned by Intimate Brands, Inc? It has more than 2,100 stores, sells online, and mails out more than 350 million copies a year of its famous catalog. The breasts and I think its Full Frontal Advertising discriminates against all women by firstly marketing their push-up bras to the flat-chested to say that they haven't got enough, and secondly by barely bothering to stock the bigger sizes for the large-breasted community! There should be no shame in being voluptuous -- we actually have the curves to fill out the sexiest of lingerie!

When Nature Hasn't Dealt You an Acceptable Hand gives the author's opinions about breasts and her reaction to one friend's reduction and another's enlargement (note: that implants have to be replaced every 10 years).

Bras entering New Zealand will no longer be subject to an import tariff, due to a shortage of domestically-made products.

Not long before our holiday now! Just a note: while I'm away, my internet access is going to be limited, so posts may be less frequent, and I will have less time to check over them for typos etc, so please bear with me. Also, though I will be making an effort to check e-mail etc, I won't be able to respond to everything until I return home.

The new Gossard girl, Kate Groombridge, has made up a list of top tips for taking care of - and making the most of - your boobs. This is more of the type of thing I'm after for the Breast Chronicles - how to show off your breasts, and take care of the delicate skin.

The chap from has offered the use of his message boards for breast discussion - we even have a whole forum dedicated to us.

Is there no end to the talents that can be expressed through one's breasts? A little unconventional, to say the least...

I want to make it clear that although this site is going to be naturally biased towards large breasts, I am always going to be willing to publish breast-related articles from any point of view - I published one on a man's experience of wearing C-cup breasts, after all!

At the moment, rather than being excited about going to Canada, my breasts are more excited about returning, and being able to show off their tan to the bloke.

You've probably seen Anna Kournikova's bra-promoting slogan: Only the Ball Should Bounce. Here's a Second Opinion that illustrates once again that the marketers focus more on style than fit, but the breasts and I think it's really all about a good fitting bra.

I've been browsing for over half an hour now.

Three new articles have been added to the Breast Chronicles zine: Fact and Misconception, Over-the-shoulder Boulder-holders and Great Breast.

The breasts and I have been interviewed for tantrum magazine - I'll get back to you about when it will be published.

Don't fret over picking the right bra gives more advice on bra buying, including custom bras.

To those who have sent negative feedback: it's you whom the breasts and I are trying to fight against - you who think that breasts are disgusting even when clothed. I refuse to be ashamed of the fact that I have breasts - and I want to celebrate and love them and invite others to celebrate and love theirs. Oh and also, as if I should have to say this: they are fully, 100% real - duh! I speak from the point of view of someone who has always had large breasts (particularly in proportion to a fairly slim - UK size 10/12 or US size 6/8 - body), though I think the breasts were given the boost from a D to a DD by the pill.

Some have expressed an interest about Tequila body-shots. The ingredients are: a relatively full bottle of Tequila, a Lime (cut into wedges), salt shaker, 2 shot glasses. For the uninitiated, having large tits comes in very handy if you want to try this. Get comfortable. A shotglass of tequila is held in the woman's cleavage. "Hold still!" Now he licks her neck and sprinkles salt on it, and places a lime wedge in her mouth (rind in). Then, he licks the salt off, grabs the shotglass with his teeth, downs the tequila, and bites the lime in a cinematic kiss (to induce a tongue wrestling match for the wedge) and squeezes the juice from it while still attached to his "dance" partner. There you have it! You may repeat the procedure as desired. Notice: The breasts may not be held responsible for the events that may follow ;-) .

With the Tomb Raider series coming to an end, Lara Croft says 'Goodbye Boys'. Instead of flaunting cleavage, the new generation of p.c. cyber-heroines are deflating their chests. Even the actress playing Lara Croft in the Tomb Raider movie, Angelina Jolie, still can't measure up to Rhona Mitra and Nell McAndrew, the two British women who preceded her - both of whom had "boob jobs".

I think that soon to come to the zine is an article on clothing breasts. Not to look sexy, but to flatter them and look stylish/fashionable. I will obviously be writing from the large-breasted point of view, but if anyone would like to contribute a section on what clothes to wear with a flat chest (or make any suggestions for dressing big boobs), contact me.

Okay, I'm slacking again! I promise to have something interesting to report soon. My breasts are a bit unhappy at the moment because they haven't had any (physical) attention lately (from whom they desire it, I mean - we don't need any offers thanks).

I went bra-shopping today. Strapless bra-shopping, to be exact. I found two: one gorgeous one by Fantasie, in ivory with speckles of gold and a gold trim, and one just like my other Berlei one, only in white (and a 36DD, because they didn't have any 34DDs left - how many times to I have to rant that they sell out, yet people still try and claim there's no demand?!)

I just did a search on body image, and it came up with a lot of sites which reminded me of something: whenever complaints are made about the whole 'waif-look' supermodel thing, there are always demands to use 'real' women in advertising or whatever. And apparently, 'real' women are size 14 or 16 (that's British sizing - I think it's 10/12 in American, but I could be wrong). Nobody ever considers that a woman could be slim with big tits. Just something to muse on...

This is an appeal: if anyone knows of or can find any breast resources on the internet that present breasts as being fun, talk about them sexually, are specifically directed at women, or focus on body-image - that aren't cancer- or porn-related, please send me the links.

Expect some updates and expansion of the Breasts and Sex article in the not-too-distant future - I've recieved so many tips and comments that deserve to be included!

Aw look, this girl has big breasts and people make fun of them. There is some good advice offered by 'Champion' further down the page: join in! All my mates make fun of my boobs (admittedly, that's mainly because they all know I'm comfortable with my breasts), and I'm quite happy for it. Being able to feel comfortable about your own breast size (and the rest of your body) is a great respect-earner among people, and teasing will always stop (or at least lose its edge) if you can laugh along.

I dreamed I found the perfect fit. This article is made all the more enjoyable because of the lovely fifties-style graphics used to illustrate it.

So, women really do want big breasts and cleavage: Victoria's Secret sold out of their new miracle liquid-filled push-up bra!

I don't often post articles about breast surgery, so here's one now: Beauty and the Implanted Breast explores the demand for implants, and the health implications (I actually never had the faintest idea of the scientific reasoning behind implants causing cancer before).

My breasts can't wait to see 'him' again. They love him - just simply being near him can be enough to make them flush pink and quiver with anticipation. He's wonderful.

Hey, some research into the best sports bras. I'm taking my breasts over to Canada in a few weeks - I'll have to make a note of the bras to buy while I'm over there!

The Breast Things in Life focuses on the fake-breast debate. Large Breasts are a Huge Deal (a letters/responses page) also deals with breast surgery - enlargement and reduction - and general reactions towards big (and small) breasts.

This article on Push-up Bras is pro or con neither end of the breast-size scale, but more about creating artificial cleavage with a bra (which it is very much against!). It also talks about that bra-wearing-causes-cancer thing (which I still find very hard to believe - even if the 'facts' are true, it would be due to wearing a bra badly, rather than simply wearing one).

A two-articles-for-one bargain at this letters page. It covers chain-mail underwear (funky ;-) ) and small/large breasts. Just read it, it's easier than me trying to think up a way of summarising the page!

This is an entry especially dedicated to the more 'slimline' girls out there, just to try and prove I'm not a bitch, and I do recognise A- and AA-cups as breasts (though I do have to admit that I don't quite understand why anyone would wear a bra if they didn't have to - bra-wearing isn't that much of a pleasure to me): Bra-shopping for the flat-chested; Self-esteem for the small-breasted; Pros and Cons of Little Tits; Be Careful What You Wish For (which recognises some of the drawbacks of having large boobs, too).

If you want further information on boobies, you can find extensive light-hearted encyclopaedia-type definitions for breasts and breast-related topics at

I haven't got time right now to reply to my e-mails and guestbook entries (been travelling most of today and I'm going to a party this evening) - I should be able to do it tomorrow.

Area Students Prepare Breasts for Increased Springtime Display: another quality article from The Onion (still relevant throughout summer... well, at least when the weather perks up again anyway.

This seems to be some weird collaborative dictionary project of some kind... anyhow, here's their take on breasts.

Update It has been suggested that I do not know what I'm talking about when I claim not to experience any back pain. I made it clear in the post a few days back that I was stating it from a personal point of view, and that I believe that most (not all) - or at least a significant proportion of women who blame back pain on their breasts have it due to an ill-fitting bra. I'm not saying no-one suffers from back pain due to large breasts. Is that any clearer now?

Boys are obsessed with breasts, as this article, Breasts on the Brain, shows.

Perhaps I should have a special section for breast poetry - this poem, entitled simply Breasts, praises their form and beauty simply.

I've just realised that I'm sitting here, in the middle of a public college computer room, blatantly looking at large-breasted porn on the internet!

Imagetalk on Breasts: an interesting set of facts about breasts.

Oh, I promise to update the boobcam soon (tomorrow probably - I have to remember to bring the files with me to campus so I can upload them) with a picture of my PVC corset. Something for you to look forward to ;-)

The 'tight and curve-hugging' option has remained the favourite on the current poll, with cleavage coming a noble second. Which I find interesting, considering that on the "what's your favourite boobcam photo" poll, cleavage was the outright winner. Maybe it's more to do with context - I don't know... Any thoughts?

My breasts and I went to the gym today, and got very hot and sticky on the various pieces of equipment.

Mwah! Aquarion, my breasts and I thank you =)

My breasts and I are leaving college accommodation today, so updates from now until the end of the holidays will most likely be less frequent than up til now.

This is interesting - Wonderbra Story tells the history of the bra from a fashion point of view, leading up to the invention of the Wonderbra and its descendants.

Hehe - an Ode to Cleavage to amuse you.

There are lots of comments suggesting that large-breasted women suffer a lot from back pain. Well I feel I must point out that I get absolutely no pain from hauling these babies around all day, unless I have been on my feet for an excessive amount of time (even then it's only slight, and might as well just be from being upright for a long time rather than the weight on the front of my body). I think that most large-breasted women who experience back pain are wearing a badly-fitting bra - this can contribute to discomfort. I'm also relatively fit, which I've been told is also a factor. Anyway, I just thought I should debunk this rumour (it's just something that's been propogated by the PR teams for the small-chested to make them feel better).

Would I ever get my nipples pierced? The answer: a resounding 'no'. I would never think about it for various reasons - the main one being that I don't find pierced nipples very attractive at all. Hey, maybe someone could write an article on the subject for the zine - if anyone's interested, get in touch.

Make-up for breasts... I received a tip via e-mail today for accentuating your cleavage - and it works equally with large or small breasts. To emphasise the cleavage, sweep some loose powder (a shade darker than your skin tone) in a Y-shape between and over the boobs. Don't make it too defined though, for goodness' sake! As a variation, use a shimmery pink or beige to make your décollétage look simply lustrous.

The question has been posed: how would I vote on the two ongoing and one recently-closed polls (those of breast size, breast clothing and saucy boobcam poses).
  • As for size, I'd say I personally find larger breasts more attractive (obviously I'm biased, but my preference is for a D-cup plus). I prefer C-cups purely for the fashion aspect - they look best in most clothes.
  • On the subject of covering breasts I'm not really one to comment, as a girl - I put up the poll out of sheer curiosity. If I had to make a choice from the options I made available, I'd probably say cleavage. Interestingly enough though, I notice that the results of this poll go against the results of the 'favourite boobcam photo' poll, in which cleavage won outright over tight-but-covering.
  • Saucy boobcam poses - the poll created by Giles. I think I'd prefer the hands-over one, a) because I get to have someone's hands over, b) because it's not too revealing, and c) because I can get some lift ;-) If I was happier about the shape of my boobs I'd say the body-painting one.

Yes, I've finally updated the boobcam! Sorry to be such a procrastinator about it! This is what I wore out on Friday night - and I'm braless, I might add.

Ah, let me clarify the current poll: the 'tight and curve-hugging' option means that the breasts are fully covered to fairly high up the chest, with no clevage displayed, and the shape of the breasts emphasised. The cleavage option is for low-necked and scoop-necked tops.

There's a new poll up on the question of how breasts are best covered. The results should be interesting...

3 ways to a better cleavage reviews three of the posher push-up bras on the market. It's funny you know, but I find that the best (most attractive) cleavage is of a pair of C-cups and no larger.

Well of course it's going to be about my breasts - that's what the site's about after all!