The Breast Chronicles

The Breast Chronicles

Reshaping breasts on the net.
There's another new article on the 'zine section, about an actress called Tura Satana. The article focusses on her in the question of busty women in the movies (in response to the comment that you never see any large-breasted actresses making it in Hollywood). It was written by a guy, who asked me not to name him on the site.

The breasts are so looking forward to the T-shirt and lingerie arriving - they should get here any day now!

Ideas for breast-naming are still coming in: Erik thinks I should call the breasts 'Mmmm' and 'oh baby', and other suggestions have included 'the twins', 'the girls' and 'the kids'.

Yay, Katy has sent me her (very well-written) article on small breasts, which has been added to the 'zine section.

The latest boobcam picture is up - it's a bra made from latex ribbon from Ann Summers. It's really quite comfortable (though probably not recommended for clubbing, as it can get very hot) - and you can use it to shape your breasts and boost cleavage. Plus, it's fun! There may be a bonus image of me in this 'bra' too, if you ask me nicely.

Right, my breasts and I are off to Fiji to set up government - we're obviously by far the most popular choice!

Another risqué boobcam pic coming soon - stay tuned! (anyone is guaranteed to look good in this bra, no matter what size breasts...)

Someone remind Katy that she owes me an article! She said she would write about being on 'the other end of the scale' in the breast-size debate (I thought it would be good to get a different perspective in here, as everything so far has been about having big tits).

I love this bra. Someone buy me this bra. I just spent forty quid on this lovely set and I can't afford another lot! Bravissimo is fantastic. The wonderful thing about bras designed for plus-sizes is that they are designed to look good on big breasts - they're not designed in a B-cup and then simply expanded for larger sizes. It makes a huge difference buying from a DD-F range to buying from a A-DD range, believe me.

Again from snotsykims we have an interview with a pair of breasts the same size as mine - it's spot on, I tell you! Believe us when we say that big breasts are going to flop, whether you like it or not. Any large tits that don't are implants. Fact.

The breasts want me to find a top like this one for the summer. They think they'd look fantastic in it - they're such attention-seekers ;-) In the meantime, I have to get inspiration to continue boobcam. I'm running out of sexy tops - and as it's not even very nice weather at the moment I have to make the effort to change my clothes in order to take the photo. Sign the book to remind me.

I want to start a breast-webring (for girls - I mentioned some time ago that there used to be a ring called 'emoticon breasts' for, well, girls with tits) - who would be interested in joining? I think girlhero * and geek superstar * might be - any other takers?

There was quite a long conversation on metafilter about the Breast Chronicles. It seems to have been resolved with most people deciding that they like the site. Which is nice. =)

Everyman's Guide to Breasts is a fairly worthwhile article for blokes to read - I've added it to my links page.

AngelDemon claims to have been diagnosed with needtoseenudebreastexia, and states that for this reason he must have an enlarged picture of the 'risqué' photo on the boobcam. Hm, original, but not exactly convincing. If you want to see the breasts naked, e-mail FHM Magazine and demand that they take kit-off photos of us ;-)

Yay, I've finally finished the article on Breasts and Sex. Not for the easily shocked (well, it's not too explicit, but I thought I ought to add a warning anyway).

Thanks to Snotsykims for the evolution of breasts and the bra - most insightful.

Breasts: a review of the representation of breasts in romantic novels. It makes for quite an interesting read...

I really love The Ultimate Bra Page, and I'd like to offer to host it, but I can't find any contact information. If anyone can spot an e-mail address or guestbook (it's probably just me being dense really), please let me know.

Wonderbra Woman: guardian of women's rights and champion of the abused and oppressed!

I'm still trying to write an article on 'breasts and sex' - every time I start to write it, it ends up sounding either too sterile or too pornographic. I don't know how it's going to turn out in the end...

My breasts are still trying to persuade me to submit to boobscan. I just like the T-shirt you get if you win (oYo)

Jewelry for breasts! The Breastee Collection offers "an exquisite line of personal jewelry just for her". It's a piece of jewelry you wear in your cleavage. An interesting idea - wonder if it'll catch on ;-) Thanks to Rogers Cadenhead for the link.

The breasts were most gratified by the amount of attention we got last night (we went out wearing the blue boobcam top). 'Twas a fun night, mostly.

We went shopping today - bought a corset-type top from Miss Selfridge, which can be seen as the boobcam pic for today.

I've had several suggestions for names to call my breasts: Lefty & Righty; Fred & Ginger (because they dance well together?); Port and Starboard; Hootie & the Blowfish (from Darin); Erik & Lyle (after the Menendez brothers - the idea being 'a set of killer twins'); Yin & Yang; Thought & Memory (or should that be mammary?..) Perhaps we should have a vote eventually...

God, I want to get into FHM! C'mon, send an e-mail on my behalf... Please? Well soon to come is an online 'voting' form to make it easier, which will come about with Matt's help before too long, with any luck.

urgh, my shoulders and back hurt. I only get affected every so often - possibly something to do with the amount of time I've spent vertical today...

Good news for large-breasted women! Scientists in Australia are helping to take the bounce out of female sport. Thanks to Adam for the link.

On the subject of sports bras, the Canadian Defence Department is launching a 12-page questionnaire asking the country's 2,500 women soldiers what their requirements will be for a combat bra. The survey will be used to determine how military women feel about army-issue lingerie, as part of a plan to update the Canadian forces' clothing, most of which was designed decades ago. The survey about developing the world's first combat bra is expected to last several more weeks. (from news)

As you may have realised, today's boobcam pic isn't actually me ;-)

The Bra Show: celebrating the human form to combat breast cancer.

Oh, this is so worth a look: The Ultimate Bra Page. It's got everything bra-related!

I dreamt last night that I got into FHM! It was very odd, really... hard to explain.

Okay, who thinks we should rule Fiji? Hehehe =)

The Breast Chronicles has a new contributor, Leila - look out for articles from her coming soon. While we're on the subject of contributors, I'd like to appeal for small-breasted women to join in - so far we only have the 'busty' point of view. So if there's anyone who wants to contribute articles from the small-breasted point of view, do get in touch.

Researchers say better treatment slashes breast cancer deaths by a quarter - that's gotta be good news. On the subject, I learnt from that book, Woman, that breasts are particularly susceptible to cancer for the reason that whatever it is that regulates cell reproduction in the rest of the body isn't quite so strict in breasts, as they are expected to change size during pregnancy anyway.

Riothero thinks boobs are fun, and wants us to do a cameo for him... want to explain that a little more? (and yes, my name is Charlotte)

yay, we have a fan! We got an e-mail saying that we're "the most luscious, beautiful pair of breasts in the world". Now isn't that nice =)

Mark (for whom I have no url) wrote to us saying: "At the Lurid Paperback Cover of the Week website you will find that large breasts are a common staple for the politically incorrect and morally offensive vintage paperbacks of the 30s-50s"... we don't quite know what to make of it - take a look for yourselves.

Colleen of attempts to up the hit-count for her (collective) blog by exposing her bra...

For goodness sake people - why the huge debate about my face?! I've had some nice comments in my guestbook, but some not so nice aswell (a couple of which I deleted). I'm not claiming to be the most beautiful woman in the world, so why do people feel the need to tell me I'm not?! I only posted a picture of my face a) because people asked for it b) to prove that I'm not ashamed of it and c) so that I didn't exist purely as a pair of disembodied breasts in people's minds. Thank you.

Yes, I have finally added a picture of my face to the Breast Chronicles. Don't insult me or I'll get upset.

A post on our guestbook asked whether my breasts had names, saying that Jennifer Love-Hewitt supposedly named hers Thelma and Louise. Well, I don't have names for my breasts - so who's got any suggestions? E-mail us with your ideas, and the best ones will get a mention here.

I've been doing a bit of research into online (large)bra-buying - try for a general resource, and is highly recommended for brand-name plus-size bras (UK). Undercover Experience is wonderful! It's got all sorts of styles in all sizes!! Go there now! Ooh, Bras Direct is too cool aswell! I suppose I ought to find something US-based, or I'm not going to be able to help a lot of people (still, it's always harder to find UK-based stuff online)... Ah, here you go: Bigger Bras and Creative Woman =)

We've just come out of the shower and are therefore still wet and slippery - and naked.... [just thought we ought to add something slightly smutty to keep everyone coming back ;-) ]

A lot of the women who visit this site have said that they weren't sure what to make of it at first, but after reading it realised what we're about and came around to the idea. There's an entry at Tawdry, in which she puts it better than I could have myself...

We're going to have a photoshoot with a friend in a bit - we're working with Matt L on a page to further our bid for FHM-stardom ;-)

Right, there have been several queries as to the purpose of this blog, on other sites (notably metafilter). Yes, the Breast Chronicles was created primarily for attention and hits. Yes, I'm using it in my bid to get published in FHM, which I am absolutely desperate for (so much so that I am insanely jealous of the student who got paid £3500 by readers to do it). Yes, I'm an attention-seeker and an exhibitionist, but that stems from the fact that I'm really rather shy and insecure (ask a psychiatrist). But the Breast Chronicles is more than that (this is starting to sound like a political speech!) - it's about coming to terms with my body (see insecure), providing entertainment, and it's about breasts for fun. Okay I'm done.

Funnily, someone posted to our guestbook suggesting I get a breast reduction operation. That's something I have to admit I wasn't expecting (though Jay apparently did [gratuitous link to him for being so nice!] ) - I have considered the possibility of such an operation in the past, but I'd rather come to terms with my body the way it is without having to resort to such artificial methods. I don't know if I'm coming across very well, but anyway...

Yay, more articles on bra-buying for big boobs - that's going onto my links page!

We've got a new guestbook up and running... do sign it with your comments, suggestions and other breast-resources =)

Ooh, my breasts and I can't wait to be seen in the Playboy T-shirt I ordered the other day! We're so excited about it. As soon as it arrives, I promise to add a picture of it in the boobcam =)

On a relatively un-breast-related subject, Jon Sullivan thinks he's doing better than me because he gets more hits... but his site's been up since December (according to his archives), whereas the Breast Chronicles have been going only a matter of weeks. Muhahaha ;-) **additional: Jon informs me in his blog that his site has in fact been up for five years (sorry - I was just going by the archives, as I mentioned - didn't mean to put you down ;-) )

wahey, someone actually used my link button at Net Dyslexia! I've also been chosen as Cruel site of the day, which is quite an honour.

Cruel site of the day!

Here's an article about large breasts, which echoes exactly my sentiments about the problems of a huge bust (especially while combined with a small waist) - busty girls unite!

If you want to use a 31x88 button to link to me, I just made one (as you can probably tell, they're my breasts)
The Breast Chronicles

Ah, the weather's brightening once more (about time!) - soon it may again be time to parade my bikini-clad assets in the sun... =)

Updated the boobcam today - included a 'secret' picture, which never appeared on the main page (it's a bit risqué), and is not available for viewing at the larger size (all the more motivation for you to write to FHM for a better view!)

Woohoo! A cool breast resource =) R & D contains all sorts of breast and breast-related material, including the webdog, a weblog detailing breast resources around the net (including the Breast Chronicles).

I've just been reading a book called Woman: an intimate geography. It's a good book, I'm going to add it to my breast boutique.

Okay lads come on - surely the prospect of seeing me naked has to be incentive enough to write to FHM?

Jay R Ashworth has mucho nice things to say about me in his weblog - it seems he's a suitably breast-impressed guy - and he provided me with the previous link.

You see, breasts are so great, even men are trying to get in on the act!

wow, we just passed the 3000 hits mark! That's 1000 hits since Tuesday! We are also second on the Metalog listing - yay =)

Implanted breasts are pretty funny-looking, if you ask me...

Matt declared yesterday 'breast day', in honour of us as well as others. I believe a couple of months ago we had 'national cleavage week' in Britain, sponsored by (surprise surprise) The Sun newspaper. Matt says that such things as breasts "aren't so naughty" in England, which is an unusual sterotypical idea of Britain - normally we're considered to be the most uptight. I suppose we are next to Latin Europe, but not compared to puritan America ;-)

It calls itself 'the breast portal on the internet': Breast Files. I'm just browsing at the moment - I'm a little unhappy that in the bra size chart it reckons that a 34DD is 'definitely unlikely without surgery' - I assure you it's not! I think this site must have been created by a bloke, because whoever wrote the celebrity files seems to have no clue about guaging bra size (Jennifer Love-Hewitt a 36D and Denise Richards only a 36C?)... I was right - I just read the main page. I think it's rather arrogant - blokes should leave breasts to those who know something about them - women. So there.

And yes, the leopard-print top did get me some admiring glances =)

Hooray for (fake) boobies! ;-) She's really rather rockin' =) I wonder if I can join her clique with this site... hehehe.
Talking of linkages, I really rather like - she's said some nice stuff about me, and I read through her girltalk thingy and found it very interesting and readable (I don't normally read people's writings, but I read the lot of this). Plus she uses cool pin-up pictures. Go see.

We're going out tonight - yippee yippee! We're wearing what you see in the current boobcam picture: leopard print top from Top Shop.

My ex-boyfriend/best friend Ash read the Breast Chronicles for the first time today, and told me that he was 'very impressed' with my articles =)

Jamie has just linked us in her blog - and she was even nice enough to write and let us know.

Today we got linked by Brendan - he says this is his favourite website.

A great (if somewhat hypocritical) quote from the Feminist Media Watch: "If women are turned off by [...] women being their natural selves with their natural bodies, opinions, and minds, then they're not really feminist"

In the shower just now I amused myself by pushing my breasts together and creating a little reservoir in my cleavage. Don't ask me why that amuses me...

There should be more resources like The Pin-up Gallery on the web. This is when women as sex objects was fun, not like the horrible, ugly hardcore stuff you find now.

I'm starting to expand the site, but please excuse the odd 404 which I know is inevitable at the moment. If anyone would like to contribute an article to the new zine, I'd be most grateful - please e-mail if you have anything to offer (go to the contribute page for more details on what I am looking for).

Wahey, our hits have passed the 2000 mark! Let's celebrate!

Oh dear, we seem to have upset the feminist media watch. Now they do make some very reasonable comments, but haven't they heard of post-feminism? That's, you know, when getting your tits out and being a sexual 'thing' is somehow 'empowering'. < /sarcasm > I happen to consider that utter trash, and I don't believe feminism can have anything to do with pandering to men's sexuality. However, I don't see that there's anything wrong with wanting to be objectified - it's not like I try and call it something it's not. But also, The Breast Chronicles are meant to be amusing for women too, hence the idea of turning it into something bigger. Any thoughts?

We're still desperately wanting to get into FHM! If you think my breasts are good enough, and you want to see them 'in all their glory', write to FHM and nominate me, dammit! The snail mail addy is FHM magazine, Mappin House, 4 Winsley Street, London, W1N 7AR, UK. Go on, do it now, support your local (well, it's local as long as you're on the internet) 34DD breasts! Alternatively, if you can think of an original and witty letter that the breasts and I could write to them, e-mail us.

To remind myself that my breasts really aren't that huge, I only need to look at this page and I'll feel happily insignificant once again!

The breasts and I haven't had a particularly exciting day today. The weather was okay, so we wore a vest-top which drew a few glances, but nothing really worth reporting.

The new boobcam pic is up. It's a PVC bra from Ann Summers, and it's actually very comfortable. Hm, I wonder if we could have an Ann Summers party online...?

Ah, I've been neglecting my log somewhat today - has to do with a rather messy incident in my personal life, about which I won't go into detail. Anyway, I've been working on some articles for the upcoming Breast Chronicles 'zine (as I suppose I will have to categorise these pages once they are more expansive), as well as an Amazon affiliates page selling breast-related books and merchandise. I've also written an article on Breasts: A Phenomenon for The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy online.

I've just decided to expand these breast pages. Since I started this weblog, I have noticed a distinct lack of sites and articles dedicated to breasts, and I think this should change (yeah, it's all about world domination...). The site is going to expand to include a shop, as well as other breast-related pages. Stay tuned, or e-mail me for further information, or if you would like to become involved with the project.

One Disney ride has been dubbed Flash Mountain because of the number of cases of people flashing their breasts at the camera on the way down the waterfall. Hmm, you're giving me ideas now... ;-) [Thank you Craig for the link]

Today has been a sad day for the breasts. It's been really miserable weather, so they've remained very much covered up and have been unable to attract the amount of attention they like. Never mind - the weather's got to improve eventually... (it had better, or else this blog is going to get really dull - the only time there's anything real to talk about is when the breasts get the attention they crave, otherwise it's just breast and bra links)

The Breast Chronicles' hits have way surpassed those of my 'real' blog, Weird Wired World - go visit me there!

Robot Girl thinks that the Breast Chronicles are 'a great idea'... Heat thinks she's 'seen everything now'...

My breasts are most gratified by the attention this blog has been getting - This breast blog idea seems to have been rather a hit! I guess it just proves girlhero right ;-) Anyhow, we'll do our best to continue to make this as 'interesting' a blog as possible... and we promise to provide an attractive array of boobcam pictures for the benefit of visitors.

We update very frequently, it seems. We're among the top power bloggers...

Breast size. It's an interesting set of articles. You know, it costs nearly twice as much to get a breast reduction than it does to get implants? Life isn't fair. I want a boob job, just to make them a nicer shape. I'm not so bothered about the size any more, though I used to hate them for being so big... now I just think they're unattractive! They look better when I stretch my arms up.

I found two articles at Maxi magazine about breasts: Treasure Chest, about having large boobs; and Where Have all the Good Bras Gone, about buying bras.

We're actually getting e-mail from visitors to this blog - it's so much fun! The breasts would like to thank those who wrote with compliments most sincerely. I even got one message from a fellow large-breasted woman, asking what bra I wear! For anyone else who is curious, I wear a Gossard ultrabra pretty much all the time.

Boobies just get everywhere - even Disney can't escape =)

Ooh, naked boobies are in fashion! Unfortunately, they have to be rather smaller than mine are to actually be fashionable :-(

The third boobcam pic is up... and there was much rejoicing.

Well, we got our wish - today the weather was beautiful, and I went bikini-clad. In the afternoon, seven of us had a great big waterfight with supersoakers, making me a candidate for a wet T-shirt competition.

We've just got a review at I think it's insulting, but what the hell - any publicity is good publicity, right? Anyway, I think it calls for an explanation of the Breast Chronicles: Basically, I'm insecure and rather depressed atm, and in order to remedy this I become an attention-seeker. My breasts being my most 'impressive' feature, I tend to play on them for the attention. I have thus become somewhat enamoured with them, and so thought I'd give them their own breast-oriented weblog. It's a release. Does that explain it? I don't know. Oh and by the way, it's not supposed to be funny, just mildly entertaining.

For a whole host of breasts, visit, courtesy of The Sun.

A new boobcam pic has been posted! If you missed the first photo, go to the boobcam homepage (which will eventually expand to include other stuff... like what I don't know, but it'll be more than just pics... maybe)

My breasts are hoping for some decent weather tomorrow so that we can go and sunbathe. There was someone today with whom the breasts felt quite competitive, as she was sunbathing in just a bikini, but it was far too cold for me to contemplate competing.

bra wars rage over the invention of yet another new type of bra. What the breasts and I want to know, is when they're gonna start designing really pretty bras for cup sizes larger than a B or C...

Okay, the boobcam is up and running. Okay, so it's not really a webcam - it'll just be a series of pictures taken with my digital camera. But it'll probably still be updated more or less daily. **This will not be X-rated in any way!**

We just signed up to the linksluts webring... wonder if we'll get in, or if we're a bit too risqué for the tastes of the masses.

We've just come in from sunbathing - and my breasts are very happy with the amount of attention they got in my Miss Selfridge (I think most of my sexiest clothes are from there!) bikini. At one point I came inside to get something, and so many blokes stared at them that I thought they must have escaped from my clothing! They hadn't, however.

Ah, summer is here - along with the opportunity to wear many skimpy clothes and cleavage-revealing tops! Today we wore a pink leopard-print vest top from Miss Selfridge. We've just returned from shopping - we walked down to town and bought my digital camera. Possibly I will start posting a daily 'cleavage shot' on this blog... anything for more hits ;-)

There used to be a webring called 'emoticon breasts', where the ring code consisted of ascii boobies. My breasts and I are thinking of restarting this webring, as it's a wonderful idea to bring together the breasts of the web. E-mail us if you like the idea.

The breasts were very pleased to see this article on how to make your weblog popular - immediately I finished reading they demanded some 'public exposure'... when I get my new digicamera (tomorrow!) I might think about it - okay?

My breasts saw this site on streaking, and immediately wanted to join in the phenomenon. Perhaps when it's a bit warmer, I told them - don't wanna be getting cold now do I? I'll do a bit of sunbathing (well I don't want to be showing tanlines!)

We've been trying to decide which of my domain names we should use for the Breast Chronicles. How about we put it to a vote, I suggested. The breasts thought that sounded reasonable, so please vote below:

view current results

The breasts signed themselves up to imood, so now there's a status indicator on the sidebar of this page showing exactly how they are currently feeling ;-)

The breasts note that even Lara Croft wants a pair like them...

Our current ambition is to be published in FHM. With my help, my breasts drafted a letter to the magazine: "we are a pair of beautifully rounded 34DD breasts - together we can create a fantastic-looking cleavage. We would like very much to be published in all our glory in your wonderful magazine. Thank you. -Charlotte's breasts". Do you think that'll get them into FHM? Answers on a postcard please to

My breasts were wondering what was going on in the world of breasts in general, so they checked out They thought about submitting, but that would involve borrowing the scanner from Paul and setting it up on my machine. Perhaps some other time, I told them.